Today, we celebrate our 6 years and 6 months of being together. Wow, look at that! I wouldn't even imagine that we would stay this long, but hey, who am I to complain?

Just met with high school friends yesterday. Although we haven't really had a place to go (all of the bars and restos we checked were either full or pathetic) , we still had a blast with the roadtrip we did. It's been a while since I last had an evening gimmick with friends because of my schedule, and I really grabbed the chance because I don't know when would be the next time. And my boyfriend was nice to drive us and not complain a bit!
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Yesterday, we formally joined our new team.

My new team leader even personally asked us to meet our new teammates. I was kinda embarrassed, feeling that he even begged us to join his team, which we should have done a month ago. But he said it, we cannot leave our former(?!?!) team, Shega and the rest of the crew. We are still enjoying the people and the atmosphere with our batchmates, even so when QSPs would visit us in our stations and have a good laugh. We treat our floor as OUR floor, even if OMs would message Shega and telling us to shut up. But as they say, change is the only permanent thing you can think of. Very cliche, but true. I just have to go with the flow, I guess.

Why do people afraid of change? I should answer that question, shouldn't I? Well the only insight I could think of is we are afraid to disrupt the ways we are used to. We are afraid to spoil the comfort we have doing what we have been doing for a quite period of time.

For some, Change is equated to Disruption, Confusion, Loneliness, even Chaos. So we stick to Conventions and Structures, where we can be in the false comfort of knowing that we wouldn't experience Hurt and Mistakes by doing the way we are used to. But change can also mean Realization, Release from the bondage of conventions, even Rebirth. This can also mean Freedom, for you will have the privilege of reorganizing and rebuilding your past, and re-establishing your foundation as an individual.

So I would have to think of Change in a positive light. Who knows, this would be the way to find myself in the Scheme of Things...

What Makes You Sexy? by http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/acid_dream/'>eva71
Name/NickName
Gender
Sexy Body Part Is	Your Eyes
Special Talents Are	Nibbling
http://memegen.net/'>Quiz created with MemeGen!

From the very first time I rest my eyes on you,boy
My heart said follow through but I know now
That I'm way down on your line
But the waiting feeling's fine


So don't treat me like a puppet on a string
Because I know how to do my thing
Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb
I wanna know when you're gotta come,you see


*I don't wanna wait in a vain for your love
I don't wanna wait in a vain for your love
I don't wanna wait in a vain for your love
'Cause summer is here
And I'm still waiting there
Winter is here
I'm still waiting there


In life I know
That there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief
Tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn
While I'm waitin'
While I'm waitin' for my turn,you see

(*Repeat)

It's been three years since I'm knocking on your door
And still I can knock some more
Ooh boy,ooh boy,is it crazy look,I wanna know now
Like I said,the tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn
While I'm waiting
While I'm waiting for my turn,you see
Ooh boy,ooh boy,is it crazy look,I wanna know now
For I to knock some more
In life I know there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief


*for people who want to act out on their dreams, and for HIM, the one who got away...

I have a seven-day work this week...
But I will have a four-day break...
Just had coaching with my new TL...
He is just like my previous boss...
I don't like him....
He even accused us of being negligent...
and irresponsible...
When in fact, it's his agents that are like that..
We are escapegoats for his biggest blunder...
And Shega will REALLY talk to him! (serves him right! hehehe!)
But on the surface, he always act as if he is the most lovable TL...
What a bulls**t...
Mike and I had a fight...
Well it was really my fault...
I overreacted...
and the situation was blown out of proportions...
It all started with him not sending text messages...
Then when I tried to call him...
He didn't answer the phone...
It turns out his cellphone was malfunctioning...
Oh, well...
But I said sorry already...
And told him I will not be a nuisance anymore...
Meaning no text, call or visit from me...
I don't know...
Guess I was just ashamed of what I have done...
I don't know if he will ever text me...
POOR ME...

Mike and I are okay again...but he's kinda down lately. I feel so guilty, I think I contributed to his already worsening mood. But I will try to at least lighten up his mood a bit, to make up for my "bratinella" ways.

I wanna shout.
But my voice seems to be lost
in the unfathomable abyss of my being...

I want to cry.
But my tears seems to dried up
at this vast emptiness we call life..

My head is bulging...
My mind is screaming....

Chaotic thoughts
Unfullfilled dreams
Unforgettable regrets
came to me like a flash of lightning.

I tried to run away
escape the invisible bondage
that suffocates me.

But the thoughts stayed there.
lingering and waiting
like a thief in the night...



*I'm so depressed right now. I'll be working for seven straight days, and the stress is building up...I need a vacation RIGHT NOW...*

I almost died hours ago...

This day was just another day for me. I am looking forward at the end of my shift, because I will be having my four-day break. I was really okay, not knowing that there is an impending shadow that will change my views about life forever.

This is my first time to experience this, and scary would be an understatement to describe how I felt. Minutes before the accident happened, I was dozing off my seat, because the ride was long enough to catch some sleep and be ready for my work. Then it happened.

The taxi that I was with was hit by a "crazy" truck. The truck lost its break, and slid towards us. Worse, the taxi also collided at the car in front of us. So I was at the middle of hell. I was seated at the middle, so I was sandwiched, almost crushed. If the truck continued to slide down, I know I'll be dead on the spot.

This happened in EDSA, North Expressway. A busy main highway that has numerous road hits per day. And I only see these accidents on TV, not realizing that yes, this could also happen to me.

Immediately after the incident, I still had the presence of mind to call Mike and tell him what happened. Then I called my TL, and told him that I will be late for work. I don't know if that is my body's reflex, but I was just numb and tried to go on.

On thing I have realized is that when you are stuck in that kind of situation, people would only stare at you, not even thinking that the victims would need help. I was really disappointed, but I can't do anything about it. The driver of the truck didn't even want to check on us, if he killed someone or not.

When I called my mom, that was when the dam was broken, I was really crying because that was when the incident sank in. I ALMOST DIED! But I'm really grateful that I am still alive, and I still have time to savor my second lease of life. I also think that GOD (or a higher being for that matter) has other plans for me before I go. And I realized that life is so short to be wasted on frivolous things. And I intend to live life for as long as I can...

It's my third day of being a bum. And I love it! After the traumatizing experience I went through last Fiday, I'd say this is a the best gift for me: to have a worry- and stress-free four day break from work. And I deserved it, having to work seven days straight! teehehe!!!

As if the accident was not enough, my weekends were spent with parties! I attended a celebration of Mike's cousin in passing the medicine board in Pampanga last Saturday and my Team Leader's fiesta-cum-christening of her nephew the following day. Whew!

Right now, I just enjoyed my treasured rest. I whipped up some nachos (yum! yum!) and ate almost all of it! Well, it wouldn't be that way had Mike turned up (as he promised). But he didn't. He just let me wait for him, to no avail. Oh well, he just missed half of his life by not tasting my nachos! hahaha!

I am now devouring Mitch Albom's novel "The Five People You Meet in Heaven", and it was really good. Just like Tuesdays with Morrie, this book lets you reflect life and its meaning, and your purpose. And after what happened to me, I think this is just an apt reading material. Read it, it's highly recommended.

Tomorrow will be the fourth and final day of my break. Hmmm, now now what would be the good thing I could do?...

Okay, I am back to work now. Gone is my four-day break. Hay, how I miss those times that I was just a bum, a couch potato and a blog addict. Now, I have to face the reality, that all fantasies have to end...

But I am kinda cool to be back to work. Need to earn moolah, hehehe! It's nice to see my teammates also, and I have learned that it is our TL's birthday tomorrow! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

The downside is that, I didn't know that TODAY IS OUR COMPANY'S ANNIVERSARY! All of them are in their friday casual attires, and I am wearing my usual wednesday smart casual office outfit! Good thing I borrowed Mike's sweater, so I am not that out of place.

Also, I am really touched that Mike's mother bothered to prepare something for me as my baon. But I already have something to eat! To top it all of, there would be free food today! waah!! So much food to last a lifetime!

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I feel sick right now. I have cough and colds, and I have difficulty talking because of my itchy throat. But still, here I am, still at work, doing my job...hay, sometimes, worst things happen even to the best of us....

Again, for the 3rd consecutive day, Mike's mother prepared something for my baon. I really don't know what to think anymore. I am so embarrassed already. But I am really touched for the effort. Hmm, what would be a nice thank-you gift for her?

I told my mom yesterday that I will be at work yesterday. Little did she know that I have other plans that evening.

Yesterday, I was with my high school friends celebrating Rhose's birthday. And it was really fun, we have managed to cover all sorts of topics from politics, work, high school life, and even ghost stories. Imagine, in a birthday party! We were all having goosebumps listening to each other's stories, and we really had a scare that it was hard to go to the bathroom alone! hahaha! Unfortunately, because of that, we weren't able to go bar-hopping, as it was 2:00 am already, most of the bars that we went to were about to close.

Gemma was talking about our high school pics, we were poking fun at the awful big tees we wore (baby tees were not born yet), the really geeky Betty-Boop hairstyles, the love teams at that time. Even our baby pics are there! Hope to see the pics myself, I'm sure I'll be wishing that my body would be just like my high school days, hehehe!

I am really grateful and fortunate that I have found these people as my friends, and they are really hold a special place in my life. A big part of my life is spent with them, with our annual Christmas parties, summer getaways, and birthday bashes. Even if we have different career paths now, and don't see each other often, we know that the bond is still there, and it will never change no matter what happens. I really miss them! It's been almost a decade of friendship, and we have outgrown most of our childish acts (although it's still there!), and still we stick together in good and bad times. High school is really a blast, and I would never trade places with anyone.

adopt your own virtual pet!

I just had a one-day off this week. My next off would be on Sunday. I have work on All Saint's Day, but I won't be here on Nov. 2 & 3. Hay, my work is really complicated, I don't know how to handle this anymore!

I really love this song. It is a very sexual song, but tempered with subliminal lyrics and good melody...

So this is what you mean
And this is how you feel
So this is how you see
And this is how you breathe
Sometimes
I know
Sometimes
I go down deep
Oh

So this is what you mean
And this is how you feel
So this how you see
And this is how you breathe

Sometimes
I know

Sometimes
I go down deep
Oh

Beneath the deep blue sea
Touching every breath
All a slight off hand
For everything you left

Sometimes
I know
Sometimes
I go down deep
Oh

Sometimes
I give myself for you
Sometimes
I know down deep

You're the loving smile,the one that is entirely
devoted to others,especially that one
person.You really can't get them out of your
head,but then,you don't really want to.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hindi ko mahuli ang gustong sabihin ng aking pagkatao. Sa dami ng mga bumabagabag sa aking kamalayan, parang sasabog ang aking isipan, subalit hindi maipahayag sa pamamagitan ng panulat.

===oo00oo===

Ayoko ng mabulaklak na salita. Nakakalokong basahin, parang pinipilit maging malalim ang mababaw na dahilan, magkaroon lang ng sinasabing "kahulugan" sa buhay. Maihahalintulad ito sa isang bato na binalutan ng gintong pintura, pinipilit magmukhang mahal ang isang basura, at parang gagong hinahangaan ng mga hunghang.

===oo00oo===

Bilanggo sa rehas ng nakaraan...ang hirap isipin na ikaw ay nabubuhay sa kasinungalingan ng kasalukuyan dahil bihag ka pa din ng isang malungkot na nakaraan. Hindi maalis sa isip mo ang bangungot na naganap, anuman o sino man ang may kagagawan. Ang hirap ipagpilitan sa sarili na magsimula muli, sapagkat ito ay isang kalokohang hindi masikmura ng iyong pagkatao.

===oo00oo===

Ako ay isang maskara, nagtatago sa likod ng isang mapanlinlang na mukha. Isang drama sa likod ng komedya ng buhay. Nakangiti sa aking mga manunuod, sa takot na makita nila ang luha sa aking mga mata. Sa saliw ng magulong musika ng buhay, ako'y nakikisabay sa indak ng kapalaran, hindi alam kung saan ito patungo.

===ooo000ooo===

Paano ba masasabi kapag ang isang tao ay masaya? Kapag nakuha na niya ang limpak-limpak na salapi? Kapag nakapagpagawa na siya ng bahay na sa sobrang laki, naririnig mo na ang sarili mo? Kapag marami ka ng kotse, lupa, babae, bisyo? Ano ba ang sukatan ng kaligayahan?

Ang hirap sagutin. Kasi hindi tayo makuntento. Kung ano ang wala sa atin, yun ang gusto nating makuha. Kahit minsan, imposible na, sige pa rin. Pero pag nandiyan na sa harap mo, balewala na. Nakuha mo na eh, wala ng thrill. Kaya mangangarap ka na naman ng iba, yung sa tingin mo kailangan mo. Pero akala mo lang yun.

===ooo000ooo===

Napanuod ko yung pelikulang Unfaithful. Eto yung tungkol sa isang pamilyang sinira ng isang tukso. Si babae ay isang maybahay. Masasabing ang kanyang pamilya ay perpekto, kung meron man nito. Kaso si babae, aksidenteng may nakilalang isang mala-Adonis na lalaki. Nagsimula sa tukso, nauwi sa kasalanan (kung kasalanan man itong maituturing). Naging isang mainit na tagpo ang naganap. Subalit ang lahat ng ito ay nauwi sa isang malagim na katapusan.

Naisip ko, ano kaya kung ako ang nasa kalagayan ni babae? May pagkakahawig kami ng sitwasyon. Matagal na siyang may asawa. Pitong taon na kami ng nobyo ko. Masaya ang kanyang pamilya. Wala akong problema sa nobyo ko, mabait at walang bisyo. Mahal nya ang kanyang asawa. Mahal ko rin siya. Pero katulad ni babae, pareho kaming hindi makuntento. Pero ang pagkakaiba lang namin, hindi pa dumarating sa punto na gumawa ng bagay na pagsisisihan ko bandang huli. O dahil hindi pa dumadating ang lalaking makakapagpabago ng buhay ko. Anuman yon, bahala na si batman.

===ooo000ooo===

Sa lahat ng makakabasa nito, maaari kayong mag-iwan ng anumang mensahe tungkol sa mga bagay na nakasulat dito. Lubos kong ikasisiya na makita ang mga mensahe nyo...maraming salamat sa pagbabasa, at sana ay kahit paano ay nasiyahan kayo sa pagbisita...